We may have different parenting styles, but we all struggle to be the best parents to our children. Are we doing parenting right? Let us learn more about the different parenting types and how they affect our children’s growth.
Parenting styles meaning
Parenting styles are patterns or constellations of attitude, behavior, and parenting practices we convey to our children. They are also the emotional climate by which we express our behavior towards them.
Parenting styles Baumrind
During the 1960s, Diana Baumrind, a clinical and developmental psychologist, identified three parenting styles: (1) authoritative, (2) authoritarian, and (3) permissive parenting. These parenting typologies were based on the four elements that Baumrind found through her research to be instrumental in helping achieve successful parenting: responsiveness, unresponsiveness, demanding, and undemanding.
Responsiveness describes the extent to which parents respond to the children’s needs in a supportive and unquestioning way. Demandingness describes three things:
- Parental demands on children’s behavior (rules and parental supervision).
- Parents’ expectations for children to follow these rules.
- Repercussions and their levels if children do not follow the rules.
The fourth parenting style
During the 1980s, Eleanor Maccoby and John Martin utilized Baumrind’s responsiveness and demandingness framework. They came up with a fourth parenting typology – neglectful or uninvolved parenting.
Parenting styles chart
Four types of parenting
The four parenting styles are defined by a common set of characteristics. Each parenting type also has its own impact on our children, whether positive or negative.
Below are the typical characteristics of the four parenting styles and their associated outcomes on children.
1. Parenting styles – Authoritative parenting
Authoritative parenting is characterized by high responsiveness and high demandingness. The parents are warm, sensitive, and respectful to their children, but they also set rules to be followed. This parenting style is sometimes referred to as democratic parenting.
Children with authoritative parents tend to grow up as better individuals in various aspects than those raised with other parenting styles.
Characteristics:
- A clear set of rules and conduct standards
- Demanding but warm, supportive, and responsive
- Questions and concerns of children are welcome
- Forgiving and understanding, rather than strict and punishing
- Constant monitoring and feedback
Associated impact on children:
- More capable and independent
- Disciplined and self-regulated
- More successful in studies
- Better social skills
- Good self-esteem
- Better mental health
2. Parenting styles – Authoritarian parenting
Authoritarian parenting is described as having high demandingness and low responsiveness. It is a very strict type of child-rearing where parents set rules that are expected to be followed at all times without question. They have high control over their children but are less nurturing towards them.
The effects of authoritarian parenting on children tend to be more negative than positive.
Characteristics:
- Strict rules and high demands with no explanation
- Often harsh (punishments)
- Expects obedience without question
- Not responsive
- Provide little or no direction
- “Spare the rod, spoil the child” approach
Associated impact on children:
- Obedient
- Proficient
- Goal-driven
- Less happy
- Lower self-esteem
- Prone to delinquency
- Likely insecure
- More issues – social, mental, drug abuse, and behavioral problems
3. Parenting styles – Permissive parenting
This type of parenting is the opposite of authoritarian parenting. Parents are described as having high responsiveness and low demandingness. They are very nurturing towards their children and set very few or no limits at all.
Characteristics:
- Indulgent parents
- Warm, nurturing, and responsive
- Lenient
- Few rules or none at all
- Do not like to say “no” to their children
- Communicative, but avoid confrontation
Associated impact on children:
- Egocentric
- Impulsive
- Lacking in self-discipline and self-control
- Difficulty in following rules and dealing with authority
- More social and relationship issues
- Likely less successful in academics
4. Parenting styles – Neglectful parenting
Also called “uninvolved parenting,” this parenting style is characterized by low demandingness and low responsiveness. Parents are often dismissive and sometimes totally neglectful towards their children. While parents may not intend to be indifferent, some issues like stress and mental problems may cause them to behave this way.
Characteristics:
- Uninvolved
- Detached from children’s lives
- Low responsiveness
- Few or no demands
- Little communication
- Provides needs like shelter, food, and education, but less on support, guidance, and discipline
Associated impact on children:
- Impulsive
- Low self-esteem
- Prone to delinquency
- Many issues – social problems, poor mental health, addiction, and behavioral problems
Other parenting styles in Psychology
More parenting styles have been identified and described more recently. These contemporary parenting styles include the following:
Attachment parenting
Attachment parenting is a subset of authoritative parenting that is apparent during infancy and the toddler years of the child. It is characterized by high responsiveness and demandingness towards the baby.
Characteristics:
- Uses nurturing touch and physical contact (breastfeeding as needed, skin-to-skin contact, minimizing separation from baby)
- Consistent love and care
- Positive discipline
- Parent strives to balance personal and family life
Associated impact on children:
- Less crying in babies
- Better coping skills growing up
- Less behavioral problems
Free-range parenting
Free-range parenting falls between permissive and authoritative parenting. Children may have rules to follow, but they are free to explore environments with less supervision.
Characteristics:
- Few guidelines
- Children have more independence and less supervision
- Rules are still enforced
- Babies, toddlers, and school-age children can freely explore new environments, mostly unsupervised
Associated impact on children:
- Independence
- Resilience
- Better problem-solving skills
- May put children in danger (depending on situation and degree of supervision needed by the child)
Helicopter parenting
This type of parenting is characterized by extreme responsiveness and control. Parents tend to be watchful, over-protective, and controlling of their children.
Characteristics:
- Protective
- Focused on children’s needs and wants
- Very much involved in children’s lives and activities, including academic and social life
- Controlling
Associated impact on children:
- Lacking practical life skills and problem-solving skills
- Low self-confidence
- Anxiety
Lighthouse parenting
Lighthouse parenting is characterized by parents who serve as “beacons of light” to their children. They are very caring but do not tolerate unacceptable behavior.
Characteristics:
- Unconditional love and approval (but not on behavior)
- High yet realistic expectations
- Giving enough protection but allowing failure
- Communication and guidance
Associated impact on children:
- Resilience
- More compassion
- Creativity
- Better problem-solving skills
Read more: Is Lighthouse Parenting Right for You?
Tiger Parenting
Tiger parenting is a strict form of child-rearing like the authoritarian parenting style. However, tiger parents are more focused on their children excelling in different fields like academics and sports.
Characteristics:
- High expectations and psychological control
- Emphasizes academic excellence, as well as in other fields like music and sports
Associated impact on children:
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Limited choice in life
- Low self-confidence
Elephant parenting
This type of parenting is the opposite of tiger parenting. Parents value emotional connection and security more than academics and other fields of excellence.
Characteristics:
- Nurturing and encouraging
- Protective
- Focus on emotional security than academic excellence
Associated impact on children:
- Carefree childhood
- Happy children
- May find it difficult to adjust in the future when greater independence is needed
- May lack problem-solving skills
Conclusion: What is the best parenting style?
If you ask if you are doing parenting right, there is no clear-cut answer. There is no specific parenting style that is perfect. While Baumrind’s research has shown that authoritative parenting can lead to happier and healthier children, its impact may vary from child to child.
No children are alike. Our children are all unique and may respond to various situations differently. Other factors, such as culture and child’s temperament, also impact how your parenting style may affect your child.
Parenting is more about knowing your children and yourself along the way. It is about discovering what is best for your children and what works for them as you nurture and guide them.
We hope you can identify who you are as a parent with the parenting types we showed above. We hope you learn how your parenting styles might be affecting your children’s growth.
Do you love to read books to your little children? Are you willing to spend quality time with them and make great memories together? If yes, please on the link below:
Sources:
- https://www.verywellmind.com/parenting-styles-2795072
- https://www.parentingforbrain.com/4-baumrind-parenting-styles/#infographic
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parenting_styles#Baumrind’s_parenting_typology
- https://www.whattoexpect.com/family/parenting-styles/
- https://www.smartparenting.com.ph/parenting/real-parenting/tiger-helicopter-elephant-or-dolphin-which-type-of-parent-are-you
Didn’t know that there are several parenting styles! Thank you so much for the info, Dear. ❤️ By the way, my parents’ style is somewhat a mixture of Authoritative & Lighthouse Parenting. It’s because they set tons of rules as well as high expectations from us. But they were only strict for the sake of our future and that does not make them a heartless person. There were just times that even though we are now already adults, we still treated like a baby in fear of getting hurt or being in trouble whenever we attempted to go out with anyone. That’s why even I am now turning 27 this year, I had never experience a date with someone. And whenever I need to reconnect with a friend, it has to be near from them. I wasn’t able to live like a normal teenager who can go out whenever they want and even now, it is still the same. But it’s okay. Even though there’s a lot of frustration in my youth, I cannot even question their parenting style ’cause if I will now have a child, I will also follow whatever discipline that they had implanted to us. Of course, it wasn’t an easy road but this was the best and also the safest life you are going to have. Just not the happiest for you cannot fool around which is somehow a good thing ’cause it made us to make a better and matured decisions in life. Opps, sorry for the lengthy comment. I was just blown away by these different parenting styles. Again, thank you so much ❤️ for posting a worthy article of yours. You did a great job! Keep it up.
Hi Zandra,
You’re most welcome. We’re glad you enjoyed our post. I, too, was surprised to find out that there are so many parenting styles! As a mother now, I find myself reflecting on these styles and on how my parents raised me. They are very helpful knowing that becoming a parent does not come with handbook. 🙂